wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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