So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
