So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize