So drunk its hurt
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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