I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
