we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
