It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
