I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
