dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Come share oat with me in your robe
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
