she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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