After last night, I could never be a politician.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
