I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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