What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Still dying that you shit outside
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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