these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
