Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
