One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
