Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
