Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
