The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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