All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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