he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
operation harelip BJ is a go
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
