Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
