Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
