He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
