this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
