Please, let me fuck your mom
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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