I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
