I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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