I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
