No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
