Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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