I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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