Non-Jews are for practice
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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