so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
