I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
