i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
