she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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