I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
