idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
