Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
