she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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