I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
