He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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