I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
