I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
