We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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