it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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