I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
