I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
