Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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