Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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