He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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