He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
