You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
