well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I checked into jail on foursquare
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
