your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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