All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
